From the very moment that you laid eyes on your child, you may have told yourself that this is the life you have ever dreamed of. You are filled with bliss and everything looks like the picture of perfection painted on your head. When your child is being all cute and cuddly, you can’t seem to get enough of them. But don’t get too excited because the party hasn’t even started yet!
As you see other moms on social media, the desire of becoming the perfect mom grows inside you more and more. You are committed to giving your 100% to make sure everything is done right. And just as you thought that everything is going well, reality hits you right in the face. What you imagined to be a life of rainbows and butterflies becomes a life of challenges and sleepless nights.
No matter how much you have prepared for this, you would have to accept that perfect moms don’t exist and, at some point, you will make mistakes. You also have to know that although you are failing at times, it doesn’t mean that you’re loving your kids any less. Embrace your imperfections so you may experience the real joys of motherhood. And remember that you don’t have to be perfect to be a super mom!
In this article, we will debunk some perfect mom myths you should stop believing.
Myth 1: Her kids are always well-behaved
This may sound too good to be true. Your child can be the kindest and sweetest kid when you’re at home but they will suddenly throw tantrums or misbehave when you have visitors or when you’re outside. And even if you have reminded them a hundred times to be at their best behaviour, they will find a way to put you in the spot.
Sometimes, kids can’t control their actions and they may not understand what you are trying to teach them about discipline. Know that you are not the only mom with a misbehaving kid. Don’t stress yourself out if your child won’t get things right the first few times. Continue to guide them and try different approaches to learn what’s working and what’s not.
Myth 2: Her house is always clean
When you start having kids, you’ll know this one is far from reality. Your house can be spotless after spending hours of cleaning and within just minutes (or seconds), it can be a complete disaster. You’re just hoping that you won’t be having any surprise visitors because last-minute cleaning may not do the trick. We are not saying that it’s fine not to do some cleaning because you’re not perfect, you still need to keep your house well-kept for hygienic reasons and prevent your kids from getting sick.
Keeping your house clean is not impossible but it takes a tremendous amount of energy and effort. You may not be able to keep your house immaculate at all times, but when you find a routine that works for you, hold on to it real tight.
Myth 3: She is always presentable
You probably have seen other moms in the grocery store with some nice clothes on and their hair is neatly done. Or you have seen social media posts of moms looking all fresh and pretty and those got about a hundred likes. Now you’re wondering, how these moms got it all together and you are barely holding on to a single thread for your sanity? Well, you have to understand that this is just a fraction of their life.
Most moms will get out of bed wearing sweat pants and stained shirt and, chances are, they will not be able to realise that they are still wearing the same clothes at the end of the day. Although moms have messy hair and they sometimes forget to take care of themselves, they are the prettiest when their kids are happy.
Myth 4: She doesn’t yell at her kids
As much as you want to relax and experience the beauty of each moment, all moms have a breaking point. Many people may think that when moms get frustrated, they can bear things calmly and remain unwavering through difficult times. But when your child puts your patience to the test, like drawing some nice flowers and cute dinosaurs on your newly painted walls, it is difficult not to let your frustrations out.
Most moms will try to keep it to herself for as long as she could. But when moms reach the limit, they sometimes need to express their feelings (with a loud voice). When you see another mom yelling at their kids, don’t be so quick to judge. Take this as a cry for help from a not-so-perfect-mom to another.
Myth 5: She always knows what her child needs (and wants)
Moms don’t read minds but it would be great if they do. Some people believe that knowing what your child needs comes naturally and their instincts are always on point. Moms know what’s best for their kids but, the reality is, as your kids get older, they will start to have their own preferences and learn how to make choices. And what you thought is best for them may not be what they really need.
Allow your children to express themselves and assure them that you will be there to guide and support them. Help them to understand if what they want is not possible and give suggestions. Learning how to respond to their cues and reactions can be a life-long process but it will help you build a strong relationship with one another.
Myth 6: She always puts her kids first
A perfect mom should always put her children first and she should sacrifice herself for them. You have probably heard this one too many times and you believe that too. Many moms have to set aside their lives and dreams because their kids have to be their number one priority. And you are afraid that doing what you want is not going to be in their best interest. You don’t have to lose yourself when you become a mom.
There’s nothing wrong with taking a break and getting “me time” too. It doesn’t have to be something big like travelling the world. It can be as simple as a quiet alone time or spending time to catch up with family and friends. Find the right balance to become the best mom for your kids while still being yourself.
Myth 7: She can do everything
Perfect moms are supposed to be someone who can do everything. Moms are magical wound healers, referees, teachers, chefs, tornado fixers, negotiators and life coaches all rolled into one. There’s still a lot of other roles that you are expected to play when you become a mom. Many also believe that you should have excellent skills to do these jobs every time. Truth is, some moms are not good at soothing a crying child or don’t know how to cook, and that is completely fine.
For your kids, you are their superhero and they think that there’s nothing that you can’t do. Take this as an inspiration to become a better version of yourself and try to learn new things for yourself and your children. Also, there’s nothing wrong with asking for some help. It doesn’t matter if you are doing exceptionally great or failing at these things, the love you put in everything you do is what really counts.
Myth 8: She is always happy
Moms are supposed to feel happy all the time. That you can run in the house all day and your kids will see nothing but happiness and a smile on your face. Well, many people got that wrong because moms can feel all sorts of emotions and they can go crazy at times. She can be sad, anxious or angry because she thinks she is not doing enough or she could be doing too much. There are many reasons for these but just remember that being not happy always is normal and it doesn’t make you a bad mom.
You may start to feel a lot of negative emotions about being a mom but don’t beat yourself up when you are falling short of your and your child’s expectations. Accepting your flaws and weaknesses will help you feel mentally and emotionally healthier. Cry if you need to. Take a break. Allow yourself to be a human being once in a while. Learn how to forgive yourself for feeling this way and know that you are not alone in this fulfilling journey called motherhood.